For my women’s group at church we’re currently reading Out of control and loving it! by Lisa Bevere. I’m definitely out of control…not so much loving it yet.

The last few days have been tough. I’ve actually gotten more writing/editing done than I have in a long time, but it hasn’t been easy. Here’s what’s troubling me:

I don’t think I’m getting it. And if I am getting it, I’m not understanding how to apply it?

Confused? Welcome to my world 🙂 I’ll explain.

Through my American Christian Fiction Writer’s Association (ACFW) membership I’m allowed some pretty cool opportunities. One is to participate in a month-long email “course” where an expert talks to us about a certain topic. This month is about promoting ourselves and our books. I’ve already learned a lot, but I’m lost.

I’m very much a visual learner. I need to see it in front of me so I can remember what it looks like. Unfortunately we’re talking about a LOT of things (query/cover letter, proposal, platform, markets). I’m trying to visualize how they all fall into place, but it’s not working. We’re looking at each aspect individually, so we discuss one thing at a time. I’m sort of getting it, but I need to see an end product – I need to see what it looks like.

Add to this my the lack of time I have to really read/study the material, and I’m missing it, and losing what I had. I’m trying to figure out if I have a platform, but by the time I have a minute to sit down and type up an email the group has moved on.

I tried emailing a sample for critique/comments. That didn’t work very well. Instead of a review of what I’d written, I got random questions back. Again, because I’m visual, that didn’t help much. So now I’m frustrated.

I’m “listening” (reading) to what’s going on, but I really don’t know if I’m understanding it and I don’t know how to phrase the questions to get answers that I’ll understand (because I don’t understand the answers I’m getting). I’m afraid that the course will be over by the time I can sort things out and finally figure out what I want to ask.

Sigh.

That’s where I am right now. Which is probably why I’m getting more editing done 🙂 It helps me avoid the course, which confuses me. Editing I understand.

I hope I can figure this out. I’d hate to miss such a great opportunity, but I think I might need to wait until it’s over so I can look at the big picture.

I’m going to go edit now 🙂