The next time my husband and I get married, I’m trying on more dresses.

I generally hate dress shopping. I’m 5’10” and a size 16-18/XL. I’m not proportional, with a nice sized belly, but no hips and minimal bust. When it comes to dresses I have to try on even larger sizes to accommodate my stomach, but then I have pockets of loose fabric flapping around my butt and boobs. I’d rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than try on dresses.

I had that same attitude when I went wedding dress shopping. Nothing in me wanted to spend hours trying to squeeze my body into dresses designed for size six bodies. To make matters worse, I had a dream, literally. I dreamed about a dress with red trim on the hem, and I couldn’t forget it. How was I supposed to find my red-trimmed dress?

Thank God for big sisters.

My sister understood my shopping shyness, so she cruised the internet to help find me some options. Just a few hours after telling her about my dream she emailed me a link – a red trimmed dress in MY size! Are you kidding me? I made the appointment, tried on the dress, and 90 minutes later I left the salon with a dress, slip, bra, shoes, gloves, purse, veil, and headpiece. Perfect!

Then The Learning Channel created Say Yes To The Dress – 30 minutes of brides trying on every style, color, and size wedding dress. Tall girls, big girls, busty girls, old girls – pretty much everyone who shows up finds a dress. Fitted dresses, flowy dresses, princess dresses. White, ivory, color trimmed. Pretty. Sparkly. Girly.

Why did I only try on that one dress?!

I am addicted to this wedding dress show because it never occurred to me that it might be FUN to try on different dresses and styles. I never considered the possibility of finding a different dress that might actually look better on me. What was I thinking??

Sigh.

My hubby and I are committed. Nothing’s going to take me away from my tall, hairy, red neck, so I won’t be buying another wedding dress anytime soon … unless we strike it rich and can somehow afford to have an elaborate vow renewal ceremony. You never know – it might happen. It doesn’t have to, though. My camo clad love-muffin will sit with me as I watch my wedding dress show whenever I want to watch it and his response is always the same, “I loved your wedding dress. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Awwww.