Which one do I attend?
Nope, that’s not the question.
How many do I attend?
Nope, not that one either.
How formal is the banquet?
No. Sheesh…I’d better put you out of your misery 😉
Here’s the question that has plagued me: Did they really mean it?
You know who I mean – the authors, publishers, agents, and instructors who said “Call me”, “email me”, etc.
Did they really mean it?
And if they did mean it, in what capacity did they mean it? Can I email to find out if they got that problem in the front yard fixed? (I was at two conferences with one guy – I heard all about it. How did it turn out?) Is it okay to find out how things are going with them even if I’m not talking about writing?
And if I have writing (publishing/editing) questions, how much can I ask? When have I overstepped my boundaries? What are those boundaries?
This is a serious problem for someone like me. Trust me, you know (or knew) someone like me. I was the girl in school who never had a boyfriend, so anytime a guy talked to me I thought he was interested. It took me a long time to make friends because I over analyzed EVERYTHING people said to me and was never quite sure if a girl invited me over because she wanted to be friends or because she wanted me close for easier harassing.
With a past like that you can see why I’ve struggled with this question – do I, or don’t I?
What do you think?
Network, network, network! Even if they didn't say to call or email — do it! That's how I got my DOJ internship in law school. I called up someone I had never met and started asking questions. 🙂 It takes nerve, but hey — they don't have to answer the phone or the email!
I think there is a fine line. If you come off as overpowering, then it can actually hurt your reputation. But, if they extend a contact offer, then feel free to write a well thought, concise, industry related question and then thank them for their response.
Networking v. stalking. just trust your gut 😀
It is hard to tell when someone is just being nice or when they are being genuine. If they request anything, send it! If not, query your next project and mention that you met at such and such conference. It's always good to have a name with a face!
My experience with conferences is that, as several agents have said, "If we don't know writers, we aren't doing our jobs."
So connect!
It's a good question, and I think the answer is yes.
After actively pursuing publication and all the research I've done etc. in the past two or three years, I know editors/agents get so much volume that they (1)are not afraid to politely say no (2) won't ask for something they don't want – why increase the volumes with unnecessary requests.
So if they ask for something, by all means send it because they mean it. Does it means after they ask, they sit in their offices expecting it with bated breath? I think not. (which is why we have to remind them of who we are and what our story is about).
The thing to remember is that the editor/agent is not your bff. Leave their lawn and fav volour out of it. In an informal (or semi-formal setting, like having coffee at the conference hotel) you can talk about your favourite TV shows and which movies most reflect the perfect romance. Notice that the informal suggestion somehow relate to our business. In short, until they start showing you pics of their kids and grandkids in their wallets, you might want to stay away from anything that isn't related to the business.
Empi