I’m working on my novel again today (yeah!). As I’m writing it, I’ve had a troubling realization: I don’t really ‘get’ my main character.
I think I’m writing her correctly (based on observations I’ve made of people like her) but this is really wierd.
She’s a serial dater. I’ve explored the reasons why she is, and I know why THIS character does it, but it’s been a little difficult to write her because I don’t really ‘get it’.
I never really dated. I had a “boyfriend” in high school for a few weeks (my first kiss). Then…nothing. I liked plenty of guys, and I wanted to date many of them, but I had this one conviction that I could never shake:
I would never date a guy if I knew that I would leave him if something better came along.
That’s not an easy committment to maintain, but I couldn’t shake it. I met quite a few guys who were really nice, obviously interested, and okay with casually dating, but I could never do it. For that reason I didn’t have a serious boyfriend until I was 25. It was two years before I tried again, and that silly man married me 🙂
And now I’m writing about the serial dater and it’s wierd. Even as I’m writing her I keep thinking, “Are you serious? Do people really think/act like that?”
In my world, no. But I’ve met women like her. I’m sure the majority of the population relates more with her than with me. And that’s why I’m creating her – because I know people who will understand her. But I’m not one of them.
Has anyone else ever done this? Have you created a character so unlike yourself that you wonder if you’re doing it correctly? Or creating someone with a ‘flaw’ that you don’t have, and then wanting to rush ahead so you can write about the revelation/change? How do you do it – how do you write a compelling character that’s not much like yourself?
Does this make sense? I’m sure my sister won’t get it 😉 but maybe there are some others out there.
yes it does!
i've just started a new MS…I'm 3 chpts deep and I'm still learning my main character's voice b/c she's so different from me…and she's not sarcastic.
i am looking forward to doing a deeper character work up on her at the DiAnn mills clinic next month! YAY!
I think it takes a lot of courage to write a character that is far from yourself. And talent. I've tried it…it is difficult. Luckily, it wasn't my MC. That would have been really challenging.
You can do this! Find what part of her IS like you…come on, there must be something relatable about her, no? Maybe by finding that link, she will open up to you more. Just my two cents 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement ladies!!
It definitely makes sense! I find that especially to be the case with romance, as well. I didn't date until I was 23 and am happily married to my first boyfriend… so what do I know about serial dating, broken hearts, or any of that? (It doesn't help that I'm not much of a romantic to start with… haha) I have a hard time writing those parts of my character, and find myself re-writing certain parts over and over. It helps to read similar books in the genre to get a sense of how things go, but ultimately… what a challenge when you can't relate to your own character. Crazy!
Most of my characters have a piece of me in them. I think it would be hard to develop one that was absolutely nothing like me.