Every year on social media, I see posts and pictures from people encouraging others to be considerate on Mother’s Day — there are lots of women in the world who can’t have children, have lost children, have given up children for adoption, etc. who struggle on Mother’s Day.
As a woman who always thought she’d have kids but never did, I’d like to talk about this.
First of all, to all biological, adoptive, and stepmoms out there — HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! You work hard. You love fiercely. I hope you feel recognized and loved today.
For the other women in the world, I’m sorry for your pain. I’m sorry for your struggle. I don’t deny that you hurt. I don’t deny that this day might be hard for you … but this day is not about you.
It’s hard when you want to be a mom but you aren’t a mom and everyone around you is celebrating moms. I know that. But it’s also hard when you want to be married but you aren’t married and people on Facebook are sharing wedding pictures. Should we ask them to stop? I get it — it sucks when you’ve always dreamed of something that doesn’t happen, but that doesn’t mean we stop honoring or celebrating those fortunate enough to live out their dreams.
If today’s hard for you, I’d like to challenge you to do two things:
- Celebrate with those who are blessed to be mothers, even if you aren’t.
- Talk to someone. If this day is hard for you, you have a hurt that needs to be healed. Don’t ignore it. It won’t go away if you and everyone you know stop celebrating Mother’s Day. If you treat your wounded heart, however, the pain will start to lessen and heal.
So … Happy Mother’s Day moms. I hope it’s a great one.
I agree with this post. As a fellow childless woman, it almost feels condescending that people feel like they need to include me/all women in this particular holiday. Maybe it’s easy for me to say since I’m fairly young in my twenties and only a portion of my peers have kids, but it just feels fake and contrived to “include” me in this holiday and I am secure in the fact I have my own life roles that make me special, plus my own mom has sacrificed a lot for me and deserves to be celebrated. It’s more joyous to celebrate with others, and there are other moments on other days ( birthdays, job promotions, anniversaries if you’re married) when you can be celebrated.