Okay, so I’ve been trying to decide if I should mention anything about three authors I’ve recently tried. Here’s the deal: every other author I’ve mentioned, I’ve read. I TRIED to read these authors…I really did! But I couldn’t make it through a single one. Not a single book. I suppose I could have, but what fun is it to read when I put in the time for 80-100 pages and you just don’t care what happens?? So anyway, I can’t give you a complete reveiw because…I gave up. Here are some people, in my opinion, to avoid:

Sparkle Hayter: I couldn’t make that name up if I tried. That is truly her name. Here’s the deal – I tried to read Naked Brunch. It’s the story of a gal who discovers that she’s a werewolf. She didn’t realize what was happening at first, but then she does. That’s all I can tell you because I got that off of the jacket cover and her website. Okay, so the story is about WEREWOLVES…and it bored me to tears. Honestly. I could get past the first couple of chapters. I even tried skipping chapters and starting again. Didn’t work. Here’s my theory: too much description, not enough action. She tells you what’s going on and what’s happened, but you never read the dialogue. It’s like watching a movie and having the entire thing narrated with the actors only speaking occassionally. I couldn’t handle it. Maybe you can…

Jill Churchill: Okay, I picked up her book A Midsummer Night’s Scream for a couple of reasons. 1) Mystery book…I love ’em. 2) All of her book titles are plays off of famous works of literature (Grime and Punishment, A Knife to Remember) so I thought it would be pretty fun. Oy. I read 80+ pages. I found myself: a) not caring what happened to the characters, b) wondering what motivates them to do unexplainable things [such as cater meals for the cast of a play being staged in a building that’s NOT yours and you AREN’T baking it…why don’t you just call for a sample??], and c) trying to figure out why all of the characters simultaneously act like their in junior high, and then act like adults again. Very wierd. Also, she spent just as much time talking about needlepoint as she did the mystery – I don’t CARE about needlepoint, and it just confused me. Maybe you like it…

I don’t remember: I’ll have to get back with you on the name of this other author, but here’s the rundown. Whiny, selfish British gal who drinks too much and likes to use cocaine decides to meddle. The character is cold and sometimes offensive. I found myself caring so little about what happened to her that I put the book down…and have never been happier. I’ll get you the name so you don’t bother. I’m not sure you’d like this one…

And that’s it…books I couldn’t finish. Hours of my time redeemed only by closing the books and moving on. Those were joyous days 🙂