I like to act tough. People think I’ve got my life together. Here’s the truth – everything scares me. That’s why it’s February 1 and not only did I not get any queries accepted last month, but I didn’t even send a query.
Every time I would sit down to contact a publication, the onslaught began:
What if I promise a story that I can’t write?
What if I think my story idea fits their publication, but they don’t? (I live in a very rural area – I’m doing my best to read as many magazines as possible, but there are very few copies available).Will I get a reputation as someone who doesn’t do her research?
What if I say I can get a story written/submitted two weeks after acceptance, but I can’t get the interview scheduled? How am I supposed to know how long it will take to get them a story? (What if I need to interview someone for it and he/she is out of town – then what?)
What if, despite all of my research, practice, and determination, it all goes to crap and I can’t get the story done?
Even as I write this, I’m panicking. I’m not afraid of being rejected – I’m afraid of being accepted in a big market and then finding out that I can’t really cut it.
And so it’s February, and I haven’t queried anyone. I really want to. I know that I can write as well as (if not better than) many of the articles/features I’ve read, but I don’t know if I can live up to all of the other requirements.
I don’t really have an answer right now. I’m not sure what I should do next. I do know, however, that my laundry is done and I should go toss it in the dryer.
Until next time…