Today the Genesis finalists were announced. [The Genesis contest is contest for manuscripts of unpublished authors]. I didn’t make.

Honestly, I didn’t expect to be a finalist. A month ago I thought I had a chance, but as I’ve continue to learn I now see my mistakes. I recently sat down with the the first manuscript I ever wrote. On the first page I cut the first three paragraphs down to one paragraph. Um…if I could find that many sentences to cut than I KNOW the judges could.

I’m trying not to let this get me down.

I mean, I’ve already decided that I don’t want to pitch my mss this year (I want to work on them). If I’m not going to pitch them, then I don’t need to be able to say “2009 Genesis Finalist”, do I?

I don’t, but it would’ve been nice.

You know what frustrates me the most though? I really have been working on these novels. They aren’t perfect, but I’m trying. It’s been over a year one the one. Knowing that I put that much effort into one story and it STILL didn’t final makes me wonder…how long will it take for me to get another mss ready to submit/enter? [I don’t know…can I submit the same mss next year, after I’ve cleaned it up?]

So I’m trying not to feel sorry for myself. But I’m EXHAUSTED, which makes me crabby. The Wings blew a two goal lead, which makes me crabby. I have to admit that twelve months of learning isn’t enough, which makes me crabby. My pants are too tight now…you see the pattern.

I just hope the judges aren’t too mean…I should get some sleep.