I’ve been asking that a lot recently. Why am I washing the dishes? Why am I substitute teaching? Why am I writing?
Let’s face it – December is always a bust. Coming off of Thanksgiving and right into two major holidays is hard enough. Then there are parties and snow days. Cookie making, which leads to extra cleaning. Cards to write, cards to read. Busy, busy, busy.
But now it’s January and I feel like I should be more focused – especially on my writing. Such is not the case, my friends. If anything, I am more out of focus than ever before. Why? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
I’ve always been a writer. I’ve always been a day dreamer. I’ve always liked to create my own words with their own little scenarios. Writing a first draft novel wasn’t entirely difficult. Editing was harder. Receiving criticism is torturous. Getting it published – that is the non-existent aspect. So I ask myself again – why am I doing this?
Right now I only know one thing for sure – I’m supposed to write. At this point, however, I’m not sure where to go from here. I’ve been making decisions based on what other people suggest, or what they’ve done. I saw that someone else posted goals, I started posting goals. They blog, I blog. But WHY?
I don’t know why it took so long, but I’ve finally realized that I’ve never taken the time to ask God what He wants me to write, or how He wants me to write it. I pray about everything, trying to make sure I’m never outside of God’s will, but I haven’t really done it with my writing. Weird!
So I’m going to find out what God wants me to do. I have this inclination toward personal essays, but we’ll see.
On a side note: I’m holding off on querying my 1st novel. The 2009 publishers guide is due out any day now, so I want to make sure I have all of the updated info.
Until next time, I’ll be here…trying to thaw my fingers.